Summer camp, Aussie style 1957

In 1957 Rick and I had a chance to go to summer camp in Australia. It was hot as shit and no chicks for a hundred miles. I'm second from the left in the front row. Rick is first on the right of the second row. Although we had just been born, we enjoyed a challenge, and we really dug the hats. Always the joker, I wore my hat back on my head to get a good tan on my forehead. We did crafts and swimming most of the day and went on 30 mile hikes at night. I did most of the yard work while Rick typed the daily bulletin. The other guys job was to shoot Rick and I with sling-shots for no apparent reason. The camp was for seven months and as I recall, neither Rick or I ever wanted to return the following year. We did get to keep the lanyard we had made in crafts, which was nice.

Concerts

Concerts. When was the last time you went to a concert? Naw, not the ones that cost $85.00 for a seat in the 'nose bleed' section, I mean a concert with festival seating/standing on the floor, first come, first serve. In the 70's we went to a ton of concerts, one every couple of weeks it seemed. Alice Cooper, Nazareth, Peter Frampton, Black Oak Arkansas, Marshall Tucker Band, Ted Nugent, Heart, The Cars and Grand Funk were just a sample of the 30 odd concerts between '75 and '78. Those were the days.

Know your limits

"Some scientists claim that hydrogen, because it is so plentiful, is the basic building block of the universe. I dispute that. I say there is more stupidity than hydrogen, and that is the basic building block of the universe."

-Frank Zappa

I am actually reading a book now. I know, what a strange idea to start something new at age 51. Larry Winget's book, "People are idiots and I can prove it!" is a book I picked up last week because the title 'spoke' to me. Much of my past has been a "Joe's garage" type of existence, ya know, just hanging out. But Zappa and his wisdom have served me well many times over the years. I'm just looking at different approaches now to see what will happen next. Hey, I'm reading a book, and that's a start.

Rock and roll

I first heard Rick Derringer when he was playing with Johnny and Edgar Winter. Blazing guitar licks and crazy stage antics made Rick a early rocker favorite of mine. I guess he has gone "saved" and all but that's o.k. with me. I'm not listening to the music today, just rockin' to Hoochie Coo. Later.

Stranger than Fiction

You know, we've posted some... shall we say "suspect" album covers on this blog.

Today, I want to show you an actual real one. This is Ricky Van Shelton's "Loving Proof," an album that spawned such hits as "I'll Leave This World Loving You," and "From a Jack to a King."

Notice anything? Like maybe this photo was taken in Ricky's basement? Like that's his washing machine in the background? What's that jug of liquid behind him. What's in the 5-gallon bucket on the floor? Amway SA-8 detergent.

Worse yet, what's the black pipe he's leaning on? Looks suspiciously like a toilet drain-pipe.

What happened? Did his record label call up and say "Ricky! We caint git no photographer out there to y'all. Howzabout you git the little woman to shoot a couple of Polaroids and send them to us? Oh, and while your at it, why don't you write your name on the picture with a Sharpie?

Lifestyles of the rich and famous, for sure.

The "dude" abides....

"Don't f... with Jesus." No, this is not a Proverb from the Bible, just one of a zillion great lines from this movie. The wife and I watched "The Big Lebowski" tonight and I was sure I must post this. I haven't watched the movie in over 8 years but it still holds up. Dude may be my alter-ego. But I'm finding as I get older, I'm more like the "stranger". Another month or so and my mustach will match the stangers. Hey, I have the cowboy hat, the vest and denim shirt with pearl buttons. "Be careful Dude."

Forgotten but not gone

Speaking for myself, I've been busy, moving into the new Moonpie West HQ and writing the final draft of my Senior Honors Thesis.

I just wanted to share this photo here because Karen and Richard Carpenter represented 75% of everything that was wrong with American music in the 1970's. And honestly, Karen, it wasn't your weight that was the issue. It was those glasses. (by the way, Karen's the one on the right.)

Also, I'd like to stick this in your brain....

Why do birds suddenly appear
Everytime
you are near?
Just like me
They long to be
Close to youuuuuuuu.

Why do stars fall down from the sky
every time
you walk by?
Just like me
they long to be
close to youuuuuuuuuuu.

Close to youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.

Good luck getting rid of that one, suckahs!

Jobs we have had

Few people are aware of the fact that I stood in for Mr. Jackson for this CD cover on the first issue. He was fishing and couldn't be found. Hey, it paid $30.00.

24, must see television

Don't miss 24 on Monday night. I know, I'm actually promoting the act of watching T.V. But I have the inside scoop that this week, in a bizzare twist, Jack Bauers twin brother will join the White House drama. Vance was cast as 'Lance Bauer', Jacks troubled twin. Lance has recently escaped the Viet Cong prison camp and swam to Brazil. There he stole a unicycle and rode 7,000 miles up the coast all the way to Rosarita, Mexico where he sold enough tacos to buy a motorcycle and head east. This truely is 'must see T.V.'

Why Martin REALLY Bought a Yamaha

It really was a toss-up. He'd always heard that you "Meet the nicest people on a Honda," and so that was a plus.

But, then, Martin always had an eye for young girls in tennis dresses who liked to "swing." When he heard about this new ad campaign for Yamaha, he applied for a modeling job. He was devastated when he found that Yamaha was secretly owned by the Mormons and that "Swinging" was a Mormon code word for Sunday youth group.

WTF, really, what the f...

What the f... is this. One week after 12" of snow, I'm outside doing yardwork in some weird outfit. Combine surfer shorts, Moonpie t-shirt and a custom cowboy hat from New Mexico and you have Vance, the fashion guru of Maryland. I know that I need to download some new pictures, but this is just crazy. Again, click on photo for more detail.

The Freak Wall

A recent archaeological excavation at Eldorado High School uncovered this photo of the Freak Wall dated 1956. "The Grain Weekly" was the high school paper we -- leather jacket journalists one and all -- worked on back then. The name came from the school's original mascot, which was a grain of wheat. Realizing this was not much of a mascot, it was changed successively over the next few years to a hamster, a kitten, a toaster oven, and eventually a beagle. A few years after this last change, our arch-rivals at Manzano High stole the "B" from the sign and we were known ever after (shamefully) as "The Eagles."

In this photo, Rick can be seen on the far right -- leg in a cast as he attempted to evade the draft. The chick in the middle is photography teacher Susan Carpenter. Vance -- just behind her to the right -- is desperately ogling her.

Most pertinent and revealing in this shot, is the young man featured 2nd from the left, Chet "Offsides" Kirby, whose penis apparently grew from his right hip. He and his cousins, Jimmy, Timmy, and Biff Mondragon (3rd, 4th, and 5th respectively), the renowned Siamese Triplets are where the term "Freak" in Freak wall came from.

Probably the two most unusual points in this 1956 photo are the fact that neither Vance nor Rick were born for at least another year and Eldorado High School was not built until 1970.

Remember; Everything you know is worng!