Thursday, March 11, 2010

I made a stop in Albuquerque. She must'a thought I was real cool jerk

By special request from Vance. Here he is. The one. The only. Mistah Little Richard, ladies and gentleman. Little Richard. Let's give it up, ya'll. (oh, and Aerosmith, too.

Apparently so, mon frer. Apparently so.

Rick sports the Official Moonpie Chronicles combat badminton jersey as he grades papers at the University of New Mexico. You can get your own by visiting the Moonpie Chronicles store at Cafe Press! Be like all the coolest kids! (or be like Rick, anyway.)

(Jesus Christ, Dude! Trim those goddamn nails!)

the great new mexico blizzard of 2010!

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Tuesday, March 9, 2010

BMW Comes To Dinner

Here at the Moonpie Chronicles, we've always been big BMW fans -- going way back to when most people frowned on them.

It's good to know they still got it.


Vance and Rick were out hunting, and as they were walking along they come upon a huge hole in the ground. They approached it and were amazed by the size of it.


Rick says "Wow, that's some hole; I can't even see the bottom. I wonder how deep it is."


Vance says," I don't know, let's throw something down and listen to see how long it takes to hit bottom."


Rick says "There's an old automobile transmission here, give me a hand and we'll throw it in and see." So they pick it up and carry it over, and count one, and two and three, and throw it in the hole.


They were standing there listening and looking over the edge when they heard a rustling in the brush behind them. As they turned around they saw a goat come crashing through the brush, running up to the hole and with no hesitation, jumping in head first.


While they were standing there looking at each other, looking in the hole and trying to figure out what that was all about, an old farmer walked up.


"Say there", said the farmer, "you fellers didn't happen to see my goat around here anywhere, did you?"


Rick says "Funny you should ask, but we were just standing here a minute ago and a goat came running out of the bushes doin' about a hundert miles an hour and jumped head first into this hole here!"


The old farmer said "Why that's impossible, I had him chained to a transmission!"

Who put the whiskey in the well?

This and other great tunes to sooth the savage soul.....

Poindexter was a favorite of mine in the 80's. Is he even still around? And what happened to Big Bad Voodoo daddy?

The first "Senior Moment"

Monday, March 8, 2010

Your Eyes Are Saying “Pure Sex,” But the Rest of Your Is Saying “I’m Insane”

I think I went to school with this guy. His mom bought him those Sears "Toughskins" Jeans that never ever faded. They ripped though, and he had matching iron-on "denim" patches.

Later he got into heroin. I always wondered what happened after that.

Borrowed from Ugliest Tattoos

Lakeland International Raceway Presents:


Another one from There I Fixed It

From "There I Fixed It" blog

“Hello ladies. Look at your fan, now back at me, now back at your fan, now back to me. Sadly, it isn’t me, but if you stop using ladies scented body wash and switch to Old Spice, it could smell like he me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your fan could smell like. What in your hand, back at me. I have an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look at it again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your fan smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on a horse.”

I read this last night when I was stoned and I forgot about the commercial it's from and I was so totally confused but I thought it was hilarious.
Totally ripped off from There I Fixed It

Hilarity ensues

Vance and Rick are drinking in a bar.
Rick says, "Did you know that Elks have sex 10 to 15 times a night?"

"Aw crap..," says Vance, "and I just joined the VFW!"

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Public Service Message Announcementy thing....

*...say Rick(l) and Vance(r).

Also Rick adds that your eyes are probably your most important organ when it comes to seeing stuff. They're like really gushy and shit when you take them out.

But, yeah, it's all good.

*Emphasis on "can."

oPERATORS ARE sTanding, bye!

!, Popiel's Pocket Fisherman! It slices~It dices~It really, really works! and for only 999, a HECk of a Deal.

I ain't shittin' ya, neither!

dudes. srlsly. I am so fuckin baked right now. srlsy

Thank you, thank you everyone.....

Rick and I would like to thank the Academy and everyone who has stood by us all these years. Receiving an Oscar for literary works and the many screenplays over the years is a great honor. We would like to thank the man at the doughnut shop, the chick at the news stand and Olivia Newton John for being there. The group Abba has been our inspiration and compass. And God bless the makers of single malt Scotch. We say simply, good day.