Thursday, April 30, 2009

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Apparently our blog has been hijacked by the Ghost of Christmases yet to come. Or the Ghost of Exes Past. I'm not sure.

This is a photo from the future of Vance and I on a road trip to somewhere... I just am not sure I get what the message is....

Ya ever have one of those days?

I saw this photo and had to post the image. Wow.

After Rick started meditating upside down on his motorcycle, Vance thought he would try it with a Jeep. In a radio interview Vance said, "I didn't care for the practice as much as I thought I would. Prehaps my choice to wear black sneekers detracted from the experiance."

Vance at work....

I try so hard to 'build a nation', as Larry says and this is the thanks I get. This poor tree was minding his own business when all of a sudden the sewer line broke. The guys motion to me to 'just grab' the tree and pull it out of the hole with one arm. Right! This happened in Dundalk, Maryland near the Baltimore harbor. We got the tree out and replanted. A land'scrapers' work is never done.

Why Rick dosen't ride, #38 in a series

Rick was a little hard on himself after the supermarket fiasco in Washington state. He vowed to become a better rider and worked endlessly developing new stunts on motorcycles. Ricks other passion was meditation so he found a way to combine the two. Rick would go to abandoned airports and Martin would radio Rick instructions on how much more runway Rick had before he would turn around and speed back the other direction. "I find this new hobby to be very relaxing," said Rick in a television interview. "Most people I've met are stupid, I hate stupid people," Rick commented. "I'm trying to do something special and stupid people just don't get it. I must go ride now." The last time that I saw Rick, he and Martin were scheduled to try a run to Sandia Peak Crest via radio communications and Rick head standing from Cedar Crest all the way to the Peak. Good luck.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Why I don't ride. #37 in a series

Here is a copy of a police sketch obtained under the Freedom of Information Act from Thurston County (Washington) Sheriff dept. archives. This was done from information gathered from witnesses after seeing me riding my motorcycle through the produce department at the Tumwater, WA Safeway.

The Crumb Woman

Vance and I have alluded, on more than one occasion, to cartoonist R. Crumb's women. Realizing that some of you have no idea what we are talking about, I tracked down this sample.

Some of you may still fail to get it. But we know. That's how we roll, boyeez. Oy, is that how we ever roll...

The truth comes out

Holy crap! I didn't realize I still had these photos. In the previously described adventure where the two women told us they couldn't sleep with us because they'd become lesbians? Here is a shot of me and Vance at that party, puttin' on the moves.I believe we were dancing to Walk This Way by Aerosmith.

I'm still not quite certain as to why we were rebuffed.

Coming to America

Rick has always told such great stories of the Scots and Canadians and his past and heritage, that I thought it time to pass on a story that brings tears to my eyes with every telling. My great-great grandfather came to America in the 1880's from a small village in the Mexico highlands. As a young lad, Pepe worked every odd job that could be found with a smile, a handshake and what would become his signature, "thank you." Pepe would send home several dollars each week to his parents and 5 siblings. At the turn of the century, a great friendship was forged between Pepe and his new boss, Royal Helzer, an immigrant from Romania. Royal had a construction company that did steel and concrete work in the great lakes area and forged a nation with the help of people like grandpa Pepe. The two men toiled for years together and when Royal could no longer do the daily grunt work, he moved to the office chair and delegated all the work through Pepe. Pepe worked for Helzer Structures for 50 years. It was 1949 and Pepe said he was done. Pepe said he wanted to spend the rest of his days with his family who had carved out a comfortable living in Lincoln, Nebraska. At Pepe's retirement party every employee, past and present came to bid farewell to Pepe, the man who had worked with everyone in attendance. Later in the evening while enjoying a cigar and a glass of whiskey, Royal put his massive arm around Pepe's shoulders and told him, "I couldn't have done all this without you." Pepe was speechless. Royal continued as the two strolled along the balcony, "Pepe, I've watched you for 50 years of hard work. I've seen the joy you brought to work each day. But, I've also noticed that each Friday you leave the construction site with a wheelbarrow. Look Pepe, I'm not mad, I'm curious, What were you taking out each Friday?" Pepe looked directly into Royals deep blue eyes and said, "wheelbarrows."

Pepe went on to become a lawn and garden tycoon. His great grandson still works in the landscaping business today.

Somebody give me a tissue.


Edward Longshanks(Edward I of England )comes to Scotland to Conquer the Scots.

He brings 4,000 men with him. As he nears the battlefield,

There suddenly appears a solitary figure On the crest of the hill. A short, ginger-haired guy in a kilt. It was Fergus MacFarland.

'Hammer O the Scots?' yells the wee Fergus from up on the hill. 'Come up here, ya English bastards, And I'll give ye a hammerin'!'

Edward turns to his commander. 'Send 20 men to deal with that little Scottish upstart, he says.
The commander sends 20 of his best men over the hill to kill Fergus.

Ten minutes later, at the crest of the hill, The little Scot appears again.'Ya English diddies!' he yells. 'Come on the rest of ye!! Come on, I'll have ye all!'

Edward is getting somewhat annoyed. He turns to his commander. 'Send 100 men to kill that little guttersnipe!'
‘ The commander sends 100 men Over the hill to do the job.

Ten minutes later, Fergus appears at the top of the Hill once more, his hair all sticking up, His shirt a wee bit torn. 'Ya English SCUM!' he yells.. 'I'm just warming up!! Come and get me, Ya English shite!!'

Edward losses patience. 'Commander, take 400 men and personally WIPE HIM OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH!' he yells. The commander gulps, but leads 400 men on horseback over the crest of the hill.

Ten minutes later, the little Scotsman is back. His clothing is all torn, His face is covered in blood, Snot and Irn-Bru. 'Is that the best ye can do??? You're bloody WUMMIN!!! Come on!! Come and have a go ya bunch of English Shite!!!' he yells.

Edward turns to his second in command. 'Take 1,000 men over that hill and don't come back Till you've killed him!' he commands.
The second in command gathers the men and they ride off over the hill to their fate.

Ten minutes later, one of the English troops staggers back over the top of the hill. He's covered in blood and his clothes are all torn. 'Your Majesty!' he yells.

'It's a Trap!!! There's TWO of them!!!'

Monday, April 27, 2009

Say what you will, this chick WAS the bomb...

Comedy timing, thy name is Bea Arther. This chick could cut you to ribbons in two lines from her wildly popular sit-coms in the 70's and 80's. I started watching "Maude" in the 70's and watched this show not only take on every hot issue of the day, but this chick kept trying to 'get some'. I often wondered what it would be like to have sex with a woman so tall that the act would require 'fall protection'
There has only been two Beas in my life. This great funny-woman and Aunt Bea. I liked the funny chick more. Good-bye Bea.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

"If I say I gotta' Yak......"

" dosen't mean I got a long haired buffalo living in my back yard."- Ron White
Always leave driving the Yak to others when you've had too much to drink. This photo also shows why I've always traveled with an Indian blanket. You never know when you might need a pillow. Hey, would a Native American call it a 'me blanket?'