This is what I'm talking about...

When you've been in New Mexico for several years and then you leave, you have an empty spot in your soul. I can't really explain what it is, you just know that where ever you are now is not the same. Good or bad, it's not the same place. Is it the high sierra plains or the yucca plant? Is it the living at 5,000 feet altitude and the mountains are 10,000 feet? Is it the bosque with the 100,000 birds that migrate every year or the black bear that roams Red River and Angle Fire? Maybe it's the cactus and the roadrunner that make this land unique. Maybe it's just the people. People like Rick, Dave, Tom and Alan that make the land special. Girls like Julie, Carm, Michelle, Anne and the rest that make a persons thoughts go back to New Mexico. Whatever it is, the feelings are strong and the want to return to New Mexico cannot be quenched. I love New Mexico.

BEWARE! Sightings abound...

I have but one thing to say..."RUN!" Run like the wind...Never before have three sightings been documented in the history of this continent.

" This could be the greatest discovery since Sandia Man!"- old guy from University of New Mexico

I ain't shittin' ya, neither!

"Naw, naw. I ain't. Listen, son, buy me a drink will ya? C'mon, I'm a veter'n fercrissakes. Lemee tell ya sumpin' boy. Lemme tell ya..... let old Rusty Dick tell you sumpin'....SCREW YOU! I ain't tellin' you shit.... goddamn little punk.... A shot? for me? Well, thankee kindly. Let me tell you sumpin' I had me this little ole gal once, by god she's finer 'n shit I swear. I ain't shittin' ya neither! Yeah. Yeah. Looked just like that Rackle Welsh broad. 'member her? 'member? Goddamn she 'as stacked, eh? Built like a brick shithouse. Goddamn 'member that song? SHE'S A BRICK... HOUSE! SHE'S MIGHTY MIGHTY... just... uhh... hell... lettin' them titties hang out and... Huh? Yeah, I threw her out. Didn't need that shit. What shit? Well she's alla time inssiting.... insisting that she didn't know me and "where'd you get my house key from you old freak?!" “Quit follerin’ me or I’ll call the cops!” Shit like that. Screw her if she don' wanna getta know me better. I'm Rusty Dick, goddamnit! I ain't shittin' ya neither! Goddamn...Midnight? Midnight at the Moonpie lounge? Well, son, here's to you. Happy New Year! Should auld acquaintance be forgot and neeeeever brought to miiiiiiiiiiind. Should Auld acquaintance be forgit an days o' auld lang syyyyyyyyne.

I ain't shittin' ya neither”

Moonpie One: Page 25 & 26

Been quite a while since I've posted original Moonpie images.
On the first page here we've got quite the set of images in image. The top shot is of my wall locker at Ft. Lewis when I was in the 525th Replacement Co. Along the left door we have... I have no idea. A cartoon? Then a picture of a woman--possibly Farah? Then a Viva Oly sticker, a Canadian Flag sticker, A picture of Vance, and a painting from a magazine of the late Vaughn Bode, underground cartoonist and freak, who died doing that sexual asphyxiation shit.
Inside the locker you can see an pile of dirty and/or unironed cooks whites.
On the left (as in the RIGHT) door of the locker we see two autographed photos of the Monty Python Troupe. Belows that is a photo of me with long hair, smoking POT!! OMG!! and then there is an old lady with no teeth and below that, Vance,again. Vance has added the note that says "Hey, That's Me!!"
The photo below this shows me standing in the snow atop Sandia Crest, where Vance and I had just driven in his mom's Rabbit. I think I was home for, like, 3 or 4 days ORRRRRRRrrrrr this may be from my little stopoff on my way to Germany.Mmmmmnoooo, my hair is too short. This must be in the winter of 1976/77 because my hair is shorter and I'm skinny as a fucking post. Also I am wearing bellbottoms and Roots negative heel shoes.


On the next page we have...welll... this photo is from an experiment in staying up for 72 strait hours. seriously. I was the only person in the barracks as they had shut down operations over the holidays. I was the only staff person who did not go home. I wandered around, dressed in odd combinations of clothing. Vance has added the caption "What a Man."
Below that, another shot of me at the crest. Here I look remarkably like my son Gabriel who is now older than I was when this photo was taken. Jesus. I'm wearing a Cat Tractor hat, which would become popular in a few years, but then I looked like a dork. I bought the hat from Toddles Deniston. Here Vance comments on my facial expression by writing "I'm Disgusted!"

Rick's Cars #s 5 and 6

I feel like I've already posted the Bonneville here, but I can't seem to find it, so here goes. Mine was a white 1970 with a 455. After the Tempest went tits up and the panel truck was abandoned by the side of the road, we were temporarily without transport. Gayle was, I beleive, still working at the phone soliciting place, and I was working at Pizza Hut. One of our friends was still waitressing at the topless bar where.... I guess I haven't gotten into any of that shit yet. I'm so fucking lost here folks. Jeeze. This guy got it from someone who owed him $400. He sold it to us for $400. The only thing wrong with this car was that it had a busted motor mount. The guy was test driving it and punched it off the line and that big old 455 just ripped the mount loose. It was a fucking monster. This thing also had fender skirts on it which, at the time, I thought were horrendous. It's only now that I realize the true style. Anyway, this was the vehicle we drove to NM with all our shit loaded in the back. Two days after we hit town, the water-pump broke. Vance fixed that as I recall. Then shit just started going wrong left and right and eventually (after some repair work by Sears on Menaul knocked the fuel intake loose) the damn thing caught fire on the freeway and burned all the wiring. I sold it for $50 because I didn't have the title for it. Whoever bought it probably rewired it for a few hundred bucks and had a sweet lowrider.
The Bonneville marked the last of my cool cars for a while. With that car gone, my mom offered to sell me her 4 year old Mercury Zephyr. She'd bought it from a car rental place. Thus began my 20 year hate affair with Ford products.

Notice how you never see old Zephyrs driving around? That's because they were one of the biggest pieces of shit (comparable to a K car) that ever rolled out of Detroit. This was the car I had when Gayle and I split up. I got some outrageous nookage in the back seat of that car and, despite all the shit, I had that car for about 8 years when I sold it to help pay for the next vehicle.

Cars we own now

Infrequent (as in never) contributor Martin Maskill (at left)sent this photo a while back and I haven't had a chance to post it. In the past, Vance and I have posted cars that we have owned over the years, including some of our current rides. I think we've got another shot of Martin with this car (or another VeeDub) somewhere else on the site.
Here is what Martin has to say about this outstanding ride.

The true story is, that this was the last of 4 or 5 bugs that G.E.(stepfather) restored. When he passed in 06, Mom told me to take it home......so thats where it is, with me at home.

It was completely stock, when I got it, but felt the need to "Matinize" it. Completely new front end...narrowed / lowered front beam with disc brakes up front. It takes a lot of stopping power once you get the VW air-coloed motor wound up!

Nice work Martin! This would have been a much better machine to have at South Eu (instead of the Pinto!)

Cornhuskus canadensis

I spotted this prime example of a mature Central Ontario Spuddigger, a relative of the cornhusker. Turns out I'd forgotten to put on my glasses and had just spotted my reflection in the sliding glass door. Cornhuskus Canadensis is also related to Wino freezurassffay, frequently spotted pulling itself erect on northwoods barstools.
Holy shit I look old! I remember when I used to refuse to pick up characters who look like this in my taxi.

But, you remember that song "I was country when country wasn't cool"? Yeah, well I was wearing "Jimmy Durante" hats (as Vance so quaintly put it)back when Jimmy Durante hats weren't cool. I'm kinda wondering, though, why people aren't imitating the Durante style. And, damn if them Rugged Shark "Bill Dance" deck shoes ain't the shits, eh?

Wow, Happy New Year....

This has been a good year for The Moonpie Chronicles.

We have made 432 posts, had 2,750 visitors

and tons of whacky photos that we took from

every source out there, thanks. Many pic's are

"property" of Moonpie but the fact is, we require

much more than we have, so again , thanks to:

pictures unrelated, hawtness, priceless 420, etc., etc.

We also want to make sure that the women keep coming back,

so here you go girls....we will even post guys butts just for you.

I'm glad to have a goofy friend like Rick who had the vision and the brains to put together "The Moonpie Chronicles" so we could have this outlet. See you all in 2010 for more of the same with some new features to be added, including: "Was mom really my mom?", "Bosses we didn't care for", "This wasn't my best idea" and a perennial favorite...."Hey, watch this"

Have a safe New Year and "Peace" from Rick and Vance.