When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning.... Uphill... Barefoot... BOTH ways yadda, yadda, yadda
And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on my kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!
But now that I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia!
And I hate to say it, but you kids today, you don't know how good you've got it!
I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have the Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!!
(Teens viewing Moonpie Chronicles Online)
There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter - with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox, and it would take like a week to get there! Stamps were 10 cents!
(1970s era postman peeing in mailbox)
Child Protective Services didn't care if our parents beat us. As a matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also had permission to kick our ass! Nowhere was safe!
(Parents beat kids as crowd watches)
There were no MP3's or Napsters or iTunes! If you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the record store and shoplift it yourself!
Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio, and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up! There were no CD players! We had tape decks in our car.. We'd play our favorite tape and "eject" it when finished, and then the tape would come undone rendering it useless. Cause, hey, that's how we rolled, Baby! Dig?
We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called, they got a busy signal, that's it!
There weren't any freakin' cell phones either. If you left the house, you just didn't make a damn call or receive one. You actually had to be out of touch with your "friends". OH MY GOD !!! Think of the horror... not being in touch with someone 24/7!!! And then there's TEXTING. Yeah, right. Please! You kids have no idea how annoying you are.
(Typical modern teen texting friends about a "rave".)
And we didn't have fancy Caller ID either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your parents, your boss, your bookie, the collection agent... you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!
We didn't have any fancy PlayStation or Xbox video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like 'Space Invaders' and 'Asteroids'. Your screen guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination!!! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen... Forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!
(Back in the day you were required to wear a labcoat to play Space Invaders.)
You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel!!! NO REMOTES!!! Oh, no, what's the world coming to?!?!
(Yo! Barbarino!)
There was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying? We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little rat-finks!
(we used to travel miles, 7 of us on a scooter, just to watch one crappy episode of Scooby-Doo.)
And we didn't have microwaves. If we wanted to heat something up, we had to use the stove! Imagine that!
(Making an after-school snack) (Or freebasing. I forget which)
And our parents told us to stay outside and play... all day long. Oh, no, no electronics to soothe and comfort. And if you came back inside... you were doing chores!
And car seats - oh, please! Mom threw you in the back seat and you hung on. If you were lucky, you got the "safety arm" across the chest at the last moment if she had to stop suddenly, and if your head hit the dashboard, well that was your fault for calling "shot gun" in the first place!
(We used to argue over who got to use the seat each week)
See! That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled rotten! You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1980 or any time before!
Regards,
The Geezers at Moonpie
Vance was kicked off the grounds of Churchhill Downs when he showed up with his ride for the Derby. Track officials said he was a disgrace to the institution of "The Kings Sport."
Frank Frazetta has been mentioned on the Pie before, we dig this guy.
And, in honor of it snowing in Albuquerque today, we offer this sample of his work. For the rest of his work.....look it up on the net like you do everything else.
....more cow bell.
(Teens viewing Moonpie Chronicles Online)
(1970s era postman peeing in mailbox)
(Parents beat kids as crowd watches)
(Typical modern teen texting friends about a "rave".)
(Back in the day you were required to wear a labcoat to play Space Invaders.)
(Yo! Barbarino!)
(we used to travel miles, 7 of us on a scooter, just to watch one crappy episode of Scooby-Doo.)
(Making an after-school snack) (Or freebasing. I forget which)
(We used to argue over who got to use the seat each week)
In the grand scheme of things, the 60's were not that long ago but seem to be light years away from today in the way we thought, felt and dressed.
Hippie chicks are a breed all unto themselves, just ask one. If you are named Freedom, Peek-a-boo, Lightness or Earth-girl, chances are your mother was a hippie chick. My mom had hippie chick girlfriends that I watched growing up....interesting. There was a lot of wine drinking going on in those days.
I never got into the 'natural' thing when it came to underarm hair on girls. Everyone said "that's what the European women do." Hello, we are in Nebraska! The lack of 'grooming' made for some real interesting trips to the pool and lake in those days. Talk about putting 5 pounds of wool in a 1 ounce bag, wow.
Hippies back then and hippies today I believe are really just looking for peace in their life. Sometimes, we just don't really have a grip on how to get there. Smoke, sex, drink, success or a vow to poverty.....whats the answer? Kindness, passive behavior, love and peace...these are great things to have in your life.
Today, groups still gather to capture the spirit and feeling of living free and un-tethered to 'the man'. Moonpie says, right on. The peace sign is still a good way to greet one another and show the world you are of a kindred spirit.
