_________________________________________
You are a fluke
Of the universe.
You have no right to be here.....
Deteriorata! Deteriorata!
Go placidly
Amid the noise and waste.
And remember what comfort there may be
In owning a piece thereof.
Avoid quiet and passive persons
Unless you are in need of sleep.
Rotate your tires.
Speak glowingly of those greater than yourself
And heed well their advice,
Even though they be turkeys.
Know what to kiss.....and when!
Consider that two wrongs never make a right
But that THREE.........do.
Wherever possible, put people on hold.
Be comforted that in the face of all aridity and disillusionment
And despite the changing fortunes of time,
There is always a big future in computer maintenance.
Chorus
You are a fluke
Of the universe.
You have no right to be here.
And whether you can hear it or not
The universe is laughing behind your back.
Remember the Pueblo.
Strive at all times to bend, fold, spindle and mutilate.
Know yourself.
If you need help, call the FBI.
Exercise caution in your daily affairs,
Especially with those persons closest to you.
That lemon on your left, for instance.
Be assured that a walk through the ocean of most souls
Would scarcely get your feet wet.
Fall not in love therefore;
It will stick to your face.
Gracefully surrender the things of youth:
The birds, clean air, tuna, Taiwan
And let not the sands of time
Get in your lunch.
Hire people with hooks.
For a good time call 606-4311;
Ask for "Ken."
Take heart amid the deepening gloom
That your dog is finally getting enough cheese.
And reflect that whatever misfortune may be your lot
It could only be worse in Milwaukee.
Chorus
You are a fluke
Of the universe.
You have no right to be here.
And whether you can hear it or not
The universe is laughing behind your back.
Therefore, make peace with your god
Whatever you conceive him to be---
Hairy thunderer, or cosmic muffin.
With all its hopes, dreams, promises and urban renewal
The world continues to deteriorate.
GIVE UP!
Reprise
You are a fluke
Of the universe.
You have no right to be here.
And whether you can hear it or not
The universe is laughing behind your back.
___________________________________________________________
Performed by National Lampoon on "National Lampoon Radio Dinner," a 1972 recording by Blue Thumb Records. Lyrics by Tony Hendra.
All of the above and,
ReplyDeleteDon't pick your nose in public.
That, and all people are pigs, just ask a cop.
Bingo!
ReplyDeleteActually, one of the reasons I added this piece is because I used to listen to it all the time. One of the AM stations in town used to have a comedy show on Sunday (?) evening (?). Hell, it might have been Saturday morning.
Anyway, I used to tape-record these shows with an old Radio Shack cassette recorder, microphone held to the speakers of my Radio Shack radio, waiting to push the button when they started talking. There was some great comedy stuff back then. A lot of comedy teams who did skit stuff. Stuff...
Uhhh...
Thats the same way I recorded Monty Python when the were on Queen Biscit Flour Hour.
ReplyDeleteI recorded that one too!
ReplyDeleteAnd to think that now, just a few keystrokes, and I've downloaded a high quality version of this from iTunes. Of course it's costing me $10,but it's a lot less frustrating.
I remember calling into radio stations to request a song -- so I cold record it -- and having the DJ talk over it. Man that pissed me off.