Be cool, man. Just. Be. Cool.

I got a laugh out of this when I ran across it today. It reminded me of cruising around in a car full of stoned teenagers.

I remember, back in the day when my Karma was still a bit better than it got, one night of driving around smoking dope. Now, we invariably had one of those situations where a cop was behind us and we all peed our pants.

On this particular night, Jones and I were in the back seat of -- I think -- Alan Schactner's Mustang. At that time (just prior to the Deniston's induction into the group,) Jones and I were the only ones who smoked dope. We had gotten down to the roach and.... I guess I should go back a bit and explain something else. See, back in those days, you could buy a "five finger" bag of pot for $10. (AKA, a "lid" or a "dime bag.")Calculating for inflation, that is about $40 in 2009 dollars. Not a bad deal for some dope that, rather than fucking you up, got you off. This was pot that would have you laughing and happy. The point was that for that money, you could afford to throw away the roach. We generally didn't, because we had cool roach clips to use, but we could.

On this evening, we were all high, Jones and I from smoking the joint, and Martin and Alan, from being in the car with the smoke. We were driving along Juan Tabo near Montgomery. I tossed the roach out the window and it landed... right on the windshield of a cop car. The cop pulled up along side us and rode even for about two blocks. He never looked at us. I don't know if he just didn't see us or what. I about peed my pants.

The thing is, when you are that stoned and looking at impending arrest, there is no way in hell you can act natural.

To this day, I about pee my pants when a cop is behind me. It doesn't matter how legal I am acting. I drive along imagining all the things I might possible be pulled over for.

I forgot where I was going with this. Look! A chicken!