Monday, March 2, 2009

Getting Older Blows Chunks

It really does. Even cartoons of yourself are ancient!

One of my early inheritances from my dad (along with high-cholesterol which resulted in angioplasty at age 38) was gout.I'm not going to go into the big explanation of what it is (look it up you lazy little shits!) but it hurts like hell. I've been hobbling around with that for the past few days. With no health insurance, I've not been able to get the meds for it. Thank god for my wife's Tylenol 3's and a glass of Scotch to ease the pain.

The whole time I'm gimping it, I'm thinking I need to get in shape so that this doesn't happen again. Yeah. Right. Your old, dude. It's not going to get uphill anytime soon.

Or at all.

I broke my glasses the other day, too. I didn't need glasses until I was 45. Now I can't see shit without them. Well, I can. Just not distances or close-up. Presbyopia is the diagnosis. (from the Greek: Presby = Geezer and Opia = eyeballs.)

Anyway, they were broke so I got out the superglue. They work, but they look a bit off.

And I've had allergies too. Nothing to do with getting old. Just sucks.


  1. I just shoveled and 'pulled' snow for 4 hours. believe me when I say, I will not be able to raise my arms tomorrow. Thank God for the wifes Ibie's 800's. And to all the health nuts out there who say 50 is the new 40, BITE ME! It's not that I am against people living healthy and working out, I just hate you.

  2. You guys are a total riot... I must agree though, turn 40 and it is all down hill from there.. These are the golden years just remember that... Well, maybe you better write it down cause the memory is the next thing to go....

  3. I'm glad I didn't throw in the bit about my joints aching in the cold office today. But then it got up to 80.

    And screw "the golden years," Janet!

  4. Also, I dug the cartoon shown here. I sketched this on a piece of paper this morning while I was on the phone. I scanned it and colored it. I was thinking it looked all old-timey and shit, so I added an "Old-Photo" filter to it. I think it looks like a still from a 1920's cartoon.

    Oh, and yes, it is a self-portrait.

  5. Also, codeine is my drug of choice as an adult. All the mellow of weed without the the calorie-inducing munchies. And cotton-mouth is a thing of the past.

    In liquid or tablet, Codeine: It's your little friend.

  6. My dad says the same thing... Screw the golden years. You didn't have to say a thing about aches and pains or joint pain. We already know all about them... You know it is one of those unspoken things....

  7. But now we have spoken of it, Janet.

    You know the most horrible thing about passing 50? You start talking to other people about your health. God that sucks.

    Also, I've become the crotchety old fart on my block.


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