Friday, February 20, 2009

More Failed Moonpie Advertising slogans

1. Moonpie. It’s what’s for dinner.
2. Got Moonpie?
3. Moonpie. The other chocolate and marshmallow snack food.
4. Moonpie. The fabric of your life.
5. What would you do for a Moonpie?
6. Moonpie. A better idea.
7. Moonpie. Ram tough.
8. On the road of life there are Moonpies and Drivers. Moonpies wanted.
9. Moonpie. Bet you can’t eat just one. OK. Wow. How about 17? Bet you can't just eat 17.
10. Moonpie. For a great night’s rest.
11. A Moonpie is Forever.
12. Does She or Doesn't She? Only her Moonpie knows for sure.
13. Moonpie tastes good like a cigarette should. That is to say a cigarette should taste as good as a Moonpie, but it doesn't. It tastes pretty nasty actually.
14. This pie's for you
15. Moonpie: It melts in your mouth, not in... Awww, who the hell are we kidding? It'll melt all over the goddamn place.
16. (NO SLOGAN. JUST AN IMAGE OF A MOONPIE LAYING BY THE SIDE OF THE ROAD. AN OLD INDIAN LOOKS DOWN AT IT. WE CUT TO A CLOSE-UP OF HIS FACE, AND ONE SOLITARY TEAR RUNNING DOWN HIS CHEEK.)
17. Moonpie: A little dab'll do ya.
18. Moonpie: I want my Maypo!
19: Please don't squeeze the Moonp-- Jesus. You squeezed it, didn't you, ya little shit? Get the hell out of my store!
20. Know what comes between me and my Calvins? A Moonpie. That's what!

Honorable Mention
They laughed when I sat down at the Moonpie, but when I started to play they all freaked out, because it's really a snack-food and not a musical instrument!

2 comments:

  1. 21. We're not the jet set, we're the Moonpie set, ain't we got love.
    22. Moonpie, tastes great; less filling!
    23. Moonpie, it's the water.
    24. Shit tastes great, Moonpie.
    25. Moonpie, not just for 'the' blacks.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Our steak and martinis,is Moonpie and weenies

    ReplyDelete

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Rick