The Moonpie Chronicles: If you come to New Mexico

Sunday, April 4, 2010

If you come to New Mexico

...you may want to brush up on the language. (Remember, we are a foreign country!)Here is a list of words you only think you are familiar with, followed by the word used in a phrase.

1. *Cheese*
The teacher told Pepito to use the word cheese in a sentence.
Pepito replies: Maria likes me, but cheese ugly.

2. *Mushroom*
When all my family get in the car
There's not mushroom.

3. *Shoulder*
My fren wants 2 become a citizen,
But che didn't know how to read,
So I, shoulder.

4. * Texas *
When I'm not home,
My fren always Texas me,
Che wonders where I am!

5. *Herpes*
Me and my fren ordered pizza.
I got mine piece
Then che got herpes.

6. *July*
Ju told me ju were going to tha store
But ju went to see sum guy,
July to me! Julyer!

7. *Rectum*
I had 2 cars
But my wife rectum!

8. *Chicken*
I was going to go to the store with my wife
But che said chicken go herself.

9. *Wheelchair*
We only have one enchilada left
But don't worry wheelchair

10. *Chicken* *wing*
My wife plays the lottery so chicken wing.

11. *Harassment*
My wife caught me in bed with another women.
I told her, "Honey, harassment nothen to me.

12. *Bishop*
My wife fell down the stair
So I had to pick the bishop.

13. *Body wash*
I want to go to the club
But no body wash my kids.

14. *Budweiser*
That women has a nice body,
Budweiser face so ugly?

1 comment:

VanceApril 8, 2010 at 6:14 PM
15. *Honomyso*
When going through the drive-thru window at Taco Bell you alway hear....

"Do you want honomyso?

Translation: "Do you want hot or mild sauce?"
ReplyDelete
Replies

Add comment

Spam and rudeness will not be tolerated. We're here to have a few grins, and if you can't abide, move along. Did I mention Spam? Because if I didn't, here it is. NO SPAM!! That includes saying you like our blog and it's thought-provoking (which we know is a lie) and here's a link to your blog. Basically, if you link post a link to a for-profit site without the express written consent of me or the Big Vance-a-rino, I'll delete your comment and you'll look like an ass or I'll mock you mercilesly for being a dork.
~Peace & Love,
Rick

Standard Disclaimer

Due to complaints received from a certain Ms. Bunny Boiler, our staff attorney has requested we institute the following Disclaimer.

The Moonpie Chronicles Online is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. List each check separately by bank number. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during shipment. Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be paid by addressee. Subject to approval. This is not an offer to sell securities. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for some viewers. Do not stamp. Use other side for additional listings. For recreational use only. Do not disturb. All models over 18 years of age. If condition persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable parts inside. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Subject to change without notice. Times approximate. Simulated picture. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. For off-road use only. As seen on TV. One size fits all. Many suitcases look alike. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Colors may, in time, fade. We have sent the forms which seem to be right for you. Slippery when wet. For office use only. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. Drop in any mailbox. Edited for television. Keep cool; process promptly. Post office will not deliver without postage (they may not deliver with postage). List was current at time of printing. NOTE: that was at time of printing, beats me now. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform; that's all you, man. At participating locations only. Not the Beatles. Penalty for private use. Penalty for public use. See label for sequence. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Seriously. Substantial. Do not write below this line. Only I'm allowed to do that. Falling rock. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Make checks payable to Yreep Nosemaj. Your cancelled check is your receipt. Add toner. Place stamp here. Avoid contact with skin, unless for private use and then, hey, however you get your kicks, man. Sanitized for your protection. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. Sign here without admitting guilt. Sign here with admitting guilt. Slightly higher west of the Mississippi. Employees and their families are not eligible. Beware of dog. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Limited time offer, call now to insure prompt delivery. Otherwise expect two-three lifetimes. You must be present to win. No passes accepted for this engagement. No purchase necessary. Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton. Shading within a garment may occur. Use only in well-ventilated area. Keep away from fire or flame; otherwise your inability to attend this event is only on you! Replace with same type. Approved for veterans. Booths for two or more for both private and public use if desired. Check here if tax deductible. Some equipment shown is optional. Price does not include taxes. No Canadian coins. Not recommended for children. Not recommended for adults. Not recommended for seniors. Prerecorded for this time zone, or the next. Reproduction strictly prohibited, again, unless in private use. No solicitors. No alcohol (unless it is Bailey's and well disguised in your coffee), dogs, or horses. OK, maybe horses. No anchovies unless otherwise specified and you can produce a permit. Restaurant package, not for resale. List at least two alternate dates. First pull up, then pull down. Call toll free before digging. Driver does not carry cash, but may have large quantities of illegal...well, never mind. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. Decision of judge is final.This supersedes all previous notices and no future notices until such further notice.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

If you come to New Mexico

1 comment:

Standard Disclaimer

Visitors

Search This Blog