Feeling his Irish roots tugging at him this St. Patrick's Day, Vance decided to head down to the the Catholic Church and hit the confessional. There he spied a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap. On the other wall was a dazzling array of the finest cigars and chocolates. Then the priest came in.
"Father, forgive me," Vance said, "I've never really been to confession, but I must admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than the Protestants told me it was."
The priest replied, "Get out. You're on my side."