I ain't shittin' ya, neither!

"Naw, naw. I ain't. Listen, son, buy me a drink will ya? C'mon, I'm a veter'n fercrissakes. Lemee tell ya sumpin' boy. Lemme tell ya..... let old Rusty Dick tell you sumpin'....SCREW YOU! I ain't tellin' you shit.... goddamn little punk.... A shot? for me? Well, thankee kindly. Let me tell you sumpin' I had me this little ole gal once, by god she's finer 'n shit I swear. I ain't shittin' ya neither! Yeah. Yeah. Looked just like that Rackle Welsh broad. 'member her? 'member? Goddamn she 'as stacked, eh? Built like a brick shithouse. Goddamn 'member that song? SHE'S A BRICK... HOUSE! SHE'S MIGHTY MIGHTY... just... uhh... hell... lettin' them titties hang out and... Huh? Yeah, I threw her out. Didn't need that shit. What shit? Well she's alla time inssiting.... insisting that she didn't know me and "where'd you get my house key from you old freak?!" “Quit follerin’ me or I’ll call the cops!” Shit like that. Screw her if she don' wanna getta know me better. I'm Rusty Dick, goddamnit! I ain't shittin' ya neither! Goddamn...Midnight? Midnight at the Moonpie lounge? Well, son, here's to you. Happy New Year! Should auld acquaintance be forgot and neeeeever brought to miiiiiiiiiiind. Should Auld acquaintance be forgit an days o' auld lang syyyyyyyyne.

I ain't shittin' ya neither”

Hot Babes and Celebrity Girlfriends

BUT... on a serious list of wet-dream fantasy celebrity girlfriends, I'm talking ones that you'd marry and introduce to your mother. I'm talking ones who you wouldn't be embarrassed to have the life-size kissable poster from Tiger Beat on your bedroom wall. I'm talking trade a stack of Playboys for. Number one on the list of hot babes of the 70s. (cue Angelic Chorus. Cue lights) Susan Hallock Dey (born December 10, 1952 in Pekin, Illinois) AKA: Laurie Partridge.(You know what I'm talking about, Vance! Come On Get Happyyyyyy!) For you youngsters, The Partridge Family was a TV show about a widowed woman who tries to make ends meet by having her children form a band. They dressed in maroon velvet and white lace and traveled around the country in a crazily painted school-bus. Laurie "played" keyboards, "sang," and whacked the tambourine. The show was loosely based on the real life family band, The Cowsills.

She's held up pretty well, but she lost her allure when she tried to shed her good-girl image.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go to the bathroom and I'm taking my laptop computer with me. Where the hell's the Kleenex?

Hot Babes and Celebrity Girlfriends

Let's face facts here, folks. A celebrity girlfriend list from boys of the 70s would be a farce if it did not mention this woman here: Farah Fawcett Majors.Check out this site at www.farrahfawcett.us to find some fascinating facts on the cultural status of this poster. In other posts, Vance and I have talked about fashions of the 70s. "Farah Fawcett Hair" was huge! I have to wonder if it was the hair that had us creaming our jeans... or was it the nipplage? Or was it that we knew that if the girl was wearing her hair like this, the nipples weren't far behind?

One of my best remembrances about this poster (aside from a heavily hashish induced night in Germany) was a Camaro that used to come through the drive-thru at the Hofbrau when I worked the package store. The owner had this posted varnished onto the hood of the car.

In case you wonder how Farah fared over the years, here's a shot from 2006. I guess it's safe to say "she didn't go and git all fat an' shit." This photo is actually not too bad. I've seen some where she was looking pretty rough.

Hot Babes and Celebrity Girlfriends

Joan Jett was one of my celebrity girlfriends back in the 80s (before people really had a concept of "celebrity girl or boyfriends." I mean look at her! She's a bad girl.... the kind you don't take home to mother. She super-freakayyyyy.

Get her and Chrissy Hynde from the Pretenders together and, look out!

Nowadays I'm into the Kates. Mainly Winslet (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind version is my favorite),but also Hudson (I dug the "Almost Famous" version of Kate H.) and Blanchett and that other one whose name always escapes me until I see her. Apparently Kate Winslet was in a movie titled "Hideously Kinky," which I must see.

UPDATE: I remember the fourth Kate. Kate Beckinsale (she played Ava Gardner in The Aviator, and Flora Poste in Cold Comfort Farm.)